So this is somewhat new for me. I'm not normally one to express my thoughts in writing but when it gets to the point where you can't hold them in any longer, you need an outlet. And this outlet just happens to let me edit those feelings along with giving me some anonymity. That's really the key here. Most people in my life know about my depression and anxiety but only a few know how severe they can get. Maybe this way I can protect those that don't know from worrying while still doing something that will help me. Fingers crossed anyways ;)
Anyway, I'm not really sure how to start off but I guess I'll just layout what's been happening in the past year or so that's gotten me to this breaking point. So here goes: my uncle was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma (he's currently in remission), my close friend was diagnosed with Breast Cancer (currently in remission but it's only been a few months), my grandmother had a mini stroke, was diagnosed with CMML and passed aways from a different stroke due to her cancer in May, and a very close friend (she's like family) is getting ready to go through treatment for Breast Cancer. So you can see, lot's of cancer and a lot of not knowing what was/is going to happen. Not to mention when my grandma passed away, my only grandma and last grandparent was gone within the span of THREE days. Needless to say, it's been a very crappy past two years. Add all this trauma onto my Manic Depression and Social Anxiety Disorder and it can become a complete mess in my brain.
I guess I'll just leave it at that for now though. Just letting anyone in (as if anyone will read this lol) on all that is enough to make me uncomfortable (like I said this is not normal for me). But I'm going to keep doing this. At some point, something has to work, right? So maybe this is it. Never know until I make an effort!
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